


The Only

by starstrucks



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 20:13:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20180053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstrucks/pseuds/starstrucks
Summary: In which Seungwan is a sucker for Joohyun, and write a letters for her. wait. Her ex.





	The Only

**Author's Note:**

> another self-indulgent fic that been in my notes for a while. adding another seasoning to this fic. I KNOW its short but i can't write a long length fics. so yeah. im sorry. and THANK YOU FOR READING ANDDDD give kudos if you like this fic :D

One thing to recognize on Seungwan in college, other than her small figure and shocking pink hair, is her habits on bringing file organizers. It's not filled with her journalism papers that due every week, but tons of paper airplanes. Yep. Paper airplanes. Everyone in her campus been questioning about it, yet the one who's being bombarded by the question only shrugged: a silent statement that said none of your business.

The legendary file itself is easy to recognize, a faded green colored: with a capitalized 'Seungwan' sticker patched on one side and random cat-stickers on the other side. So whenever she's being reckless, (which is nearly everyday) people can recognize it and immediately gave the file back to her. The file itself was a gift from her grandma during her 17th birthday, to help her grand-daughter to be more organized in high school. It was her last gift before she passed away, and it's one of the main reasons why Seungwan was so fond of it. Everyone knew about this story, and no one dared opened the file, or even worse: unfold the paper airplanes.

Unlike people in high school who put their noses on everything, they understand the terms privacy. Besides during the second year, Seungwan was furious when someone accidentally unfolds the paper airplanes and read it out loud, since then: no one dare unfold it.

Yes, it was a letter. Wait, rephrase it: love letters.

*

Seungwan was sipping her coffee when the cafe bells cling softly: Yerim, a junior she acknowledged during the university orientation. For her, Yerim is like her unbiological sister, her solitude. 

She came in with confusion on her face, obviously looking for a certain person until her eyes locked with Seungwan, then her gaze soften. She immediately ran a little toward her friend and gave a hug before sat down. Her brows knitted looking at the table: filled with tons of paper airplanes, double tapes, paper balls.

"What are you doing?" Seungwan gave her a confused look and grabbing a pen on her right side. "Writing?"

The younger grabs one of the paper airplanes and curiosity etched from her face. "What are you doing with these paper airplanes, seriously?"

"Hehe." while taking another new piece of paper, not feeling sorry. " I want to send a letter to Joohyun."

"You can text her?"

"I blocked her number."

Yerim's brown eyes glaring at Seungwan, before shaking her head. "You said you don't want to contact her anymore?"

The other went silent, focusing on her letter: giving Yerim a silent treatment, signaling that she crossed the line. The younger sighed to the respond while plopping herself to the chair. She took the nearest paper airplanes and unfold it: to see Seungwan's signature handwriting.

_'Do you remember that time when I can't reverse parking? You hold back your laugh, feel bad because its been 2 years since I got my license yet I still suck at it...'_

Yerim folds the paper into another shape of airplanes and put it neatly on the left side of the table, and grab herself another paper airplanes: A cross was covering the whole paper, yet it still readable somehow: _'I was doing an article regarding feminism, and it reminds me of you somehow. The way you .... '_

Seungwan didn't continue her writing. Yerim scanned the elder long, to see a glimpse of sadness evident on her face, yet the elder tried to keep that strong facade. She hid it too well, Yerim muttered.

'Seungwan,'

'Hm?'

'Look at me.'

The other glanced upward, surprised with the younger statement. Seungwan can feel the sympathetic look given by the younger, and it makes her blink back, and a short intake of breath came out from her lips: tried to keep her composure steady, "What is it?"

"Why are you hurting yourself like this?"

That's when she couldn't hold it, either the heartbreak or the disappointment: Her hands trembled before she broke down, a sob choked out from her throat while covering her face with her hands: crying her heart out. Yerim gets up from her seat to give Seungwan a warm embrace while rubbing her shoulder softly: trying to soothe the elder's sorrowness, wishing it could just magically disappear. 

*

"Sorry for being an emotional wreck," she mumbled after wiped off another tear from her cheek. Her eyes were swollen and her face was red. "Can't believe I cried in public."

Yerim gave her an understanding look, "Hey, we don't always have sunshine and rainbows every day you know." and rubbing her hands: giving mental support. Seungwan exhaled softly before release her hands from Yerim, and grab her coffee. It's not as warm as before, but the bitterness knocked a sense of her.

"I miss her, you know. Joohyun."

She stared at the window, the sun blazed out her light through the ceilings: hit Seungwan's eyes, devouring her beauty all at once. "I know I'm the one who ended it, our relationships. It was stupid: I still loved her after all. But I know it's for the best, to both of us."

A pang of nostalgia hit her, how loving Joohyun was wild: an adventurous trip she wouldn't forget. "We sacrificed too much: efforts, time, money, literally everything just to be together." she sighed. "At some point, I do understand that love requires much, but I realized our life doesn't revolve around our love lives. We still have our dreams, our goals. Yet we hold back each other, to the point it becomes too toxic."

She shrugged, "So voila, I called it off." and laughed hollowly. "And here we are."

Yerim looked at the person in front of her, and it hit her in the heart that Seungwan is nothing but a paper doll. She just sat there, filled with void: missing her harbor, her compass.

Seungwan is lost.

"Don't you want to reconcile this? Give this relationship another chance? You said you missed her."

Seungwan gave her a tired look while shaking her head softly. "No, Yerim. It won't work out. I know me, I know us." She stared blankly at her half-glass cup of coffee, avoiding the other curious glance toward her. "And that what hurts the most. I cannot just begging her to come back, because i know the ending will remain the same."

"So you write your hearts out." Yerim continued. It all makes sense now. "But why airplanes tho?"

The elder grabs one of the paper and folds it into half, "If I moved on, I want to fly all the airplanes out at the rooftop of a building. During a sunset: it symbolized a new chapter of my life."

*

Her eyes darted at the old door in front of her, sighing. She grabbed the knob and opened the door. The orange-pink skies greet her hello, signaling the sun is setting. Joohyun opens the file organizers, filled with tons of paper airplanes. It was raining when an unknown number called and personally asked to meet her that day. Turns out it was Yerim, a friend of Seungwan. The words 'Seungwan' and "last" make her ushered to leave all of her responsibility, just to meet the mighty Kim Yerim. She didn't catch the sentences Yerim been saying to her, only a jumbled "car accident" and "concussion" that knocked her sense to asked how her ex's wellbeings.

The other grim expressions did explain much, "She's running out of time."

The two went silent before Yerim hands out file organizers, with a cat sticker and a name 'Seungwan' on it. The organizers itself filled with paper airplanes in white.

"I want you to have this."

*

There are 25 paper airplanes to be exact, she did count it before she took it home. Making sure that it's the right amount. Joohyun takes one of the paper airplanes, and unfold it. The paper itself filled with Seungwan's signature handwriting: large yet neat.

**170510**

** I miss you. Yet I won’t say it to ur face because I'm a coward, but I’m happy for you. Sometimes I just want to hold your hands and assure you that everything is gonna be ok eventually. I want to kiss every fiber of your skin, I want you to know that you deserve it all: the best, the purest kind of love. **

**I wish you well, **

**Seungwan. **

She folds the paper into an airplane, then taking another piece of paper airplanes and unfold it.

**170314 **

**There's a new gelato shop near your house. You should come! It tasted amazing, and oh! Your favorite flavor, the magnificent caramel macchiato, also available there. I know you will love it. I spare a visit with Yerim, do you know her? Maybe you don't. She's one of my closest friends, and she knew about you. She hates me for breaking up with you, I think you do too. I hope time heals our wounds and give us another chance to be together. **

**With love, **

**Seungwan.**

Joohyun keeps doing it, reading all the letters diligently. And then there it is. The last paper airplane. Yerim did request that she should read it last, considering this was the last letter she wrote three days before the accident. She gulped before unfolding the paper airplane, one. last. time.

**191005**

** Hi.**

** I finally made it. **

**It took me 2 years to let you go. To see you grow **(in secret for sure)**, to see me grow. And I am glad to be here right now. I become the Son Seungwan that I really want, and you become the Bae Joohyun that you wanted. Yes, I did talk to your old friend: asking how were you right now. **

**They said you become an Executive Chief of Marketing in your office. You worked hard, you deserved it. ** **Congratulations. **

** I become the journalists that I wanted, and I'm leaving Korea next week. A close friend of mine offered a stable position in Brisbane, its a huge offer: I couldn't say no. **

**Even though things got better lately, I still got myself lost in my own guilt. It still haunts me that we decided to end our relationship. Our last fight was chaos.. ** **We figured this won’t turn up well, and maybe God wants us to be together for us to realized that this won’t work. **

**I want you to stay, to be frank. But i know you want to be free, with your dreams. **

**Beside, you deserved someone you loved and loved you for who you are. **

**I still love you, though. If I could take myself back to the day I met you in the university hall, I would. If I could asked you to stay and sorted it out instead of asking to end it, I would. I wish my past self could call you in the middle of the night: apologized for the damage that we both caused. Asking for peace, asking for another chance. But we both too busy chasing our dreams, our goals: and let it die. **

**But this question will linger in my thoughts every time my insomnia hits me. **

**Do you still love me? Will you give us another chance? **

**I wish you the best, **

**Seungwan.**

**Author's Note:**

> LISTEN TO THE ONLY BY RAIDEN AND IRENE, INSPIRED BY THAT TOO!


End file.
